The Beginning

Dear Michael,

The day you were born is somewhat of a blur. I have vivid memories of waking up at two in the morning with a pain I'd never felt before. I knew this wasn't false labor anymore. It was July 15, 1982. More than two weeks after your due date. I was ready or so I thought.

The military hospital where you would be born that day was two hours away from where we lived. I took the shuttle to the hospital later that morning. No one seemed to think I was in labor or that it was an emergency. That's usually they way it is with the first. Interesting that they didn't seem concerned that I was way past my due date. You'd think they would have the notion that I had to have the baby at some point. People really can't stay pregnant forever. That's not such a good thing.

I got to the hospital sometime in the morning and went to the clinic. They told me to wait. Since I'd slept some in the van on the way to the hospital, they really didn't think I was in labor. However, one receptionist saw how much pain I was in and called the maternity ward. She sent me "upstairs."

At this point, the contractions were strong. I was told to wait, again. Since your Dad couldn't come up on the shuttle with me, I was alone. I roamed the waiting area looking for positions to help the pain, at one point almost standing on my head. Other folks would wander in, see me, and leave. I guess they decided to find a different waiting area. I'm sure I looked like some kind of crazy woman.

Eventually, I was taken to a room and hooked to a monitor. The day gets hazy at that point as they were giving me something for pain. I'm not sure what and I didn't know it at the time. I was in a lot of pain so I can't imagine what it would have been like without anything. I'd asked for natural childbirth and don't recall agreeing to anything but when a woman is in labor, she knows not what she does. And when a woman is in the military and in a military hospital, she doesn't always get what she wants.

At some point, your Dad arrived. I don't know when but I think it was sometime later in the morning or early afternoon. If you ever have children and are in the labor room, don't wear any rings. Having a woman squeeze your hand when you are wearing a ring is not so much fun. Around six in the evening, I finally went to the delivery room. You weren't so interesting in leaving your warm home so they had to give me something to help things along. This was done via my IV. The doctor was not happy that I was interrupting his evening. He had plans of some sort. He'd come in, turn up the drip on the IV to fast mode then the nurses would turn it back down when he left. Whatever was in the drip was designed to make my contractions stronger. The doctor wasn't too concerned about me.

Finally at 8:57 p.m., after 3 hours in the delivery room, you made your entrance. From the first time the nurses could see you, they knew you had a head full of dark hair. They were so right. You had a beautiful head of hair and a cute round face. I couldn't believe how beautiful you were (and still are today).

After you were born, all I wanted to do was hold you. I couldn't believe you were actually born and you were mine. When we first went home, I kept you in a basket right beside my bed. I didn't want to put you all the way in the other room. Any time you cried, I picked you up. I didn't want to see you cry.

And how beautiful you were. Big brown eyes, lots of dark hair, and the cutest little red nose. You actually had a strawberry birthmark on your nose when you were born. Everyone thought it was cold outside because your nose was red. However, we did not nickname you Rudolph. You were and always have been, Michael. My Michael. My first born. I love you more than you'll ever know.

Love, Mom